Tag Archives: Holiday

Perving the Grinch

Several years ago I wrote a post called Perving Dr. Seuss, and one of the stories I altered was The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Since it is Christmas Eve, I thought I’d repost that part here. Enjoy, and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my readers!

Every one in Porn Valley liked fucking a lot.
But the Grinch, who lived out of the valley, did not!

The Grinch hated fucking! The sucking and tease.
He hated the anal and mass expertise.

It could be he never had played with his cock
Or toyed with his prostate or came in a sock.

I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his dick was two sizes too small.

But whatever the reason, his lack or his size,
He stood on the hill wishing for their demise.

For he knew everyone in the valley below
Was getting a clit licking now, or a blow.

“And they’re cumming on camera!” he snarled with a sneer.
“They’re fucking and sucking and banging out here.”

Then he growled with his fingers just stroking his balls,
“I must find a way to put an end to it all!

When the actors were sleeping he made his way down,
Like a coward in the night he snuck into the town.

He made his way carefully into each house,
He went on his tiptoes as quiet as a mouse.

And he stole all the dildos! Vibrators and things!
He took batteries! Lube! And he stole the cock rings!

He took all the fleshlights! He took the butt plug!
The condoms, the movies, all that he could lug!

Then he went back to his place, nastily humming,
“They’re finding out now that no one will be coming!

They’ll all cry and sob, all their toys are now gone.
Now they won’t get off anytime soon. And I will have won!”

With one hand on his cock and one hand to his ear,
The Grinch waited to hear sobs of misfortune and fear.

And he did hear a sound, but instead of bemoaning,
Twas the sound of so many down there intently coming!

He hadn’t stopped orgasms, the people they CAME!
Without any toys they came just the same!

And he puzzled about it until he was blue,
And he realized something that to him was new.

“They don’t need the extras, they don’t need the toys!
They just like having sex and creating the noise!”
And what happened then? In the valley they say
That the Grinch’s small cock grew three sizes that day!

He raced to the valley, he joined in the fun.
And he fucked and he sucked and he licked everyone.

Now all in Porn Valley liked fucking a lot.
And the Grinch, why the Grinch, he gave more than he got!

Happy New Year!

fireworks

©2015, Sammi Lou Thorne

2017 was an interesting, roller-coaster sort of year. I took my first trip out of the country to Costa Rica, which was absolutely amazing, and also another trip to Disney World – I’m actually there right now, recovering after an amazing night at Epcot ringing in the new year.  I had a good year health-wise and exercise-wise, but didn’t accomplish quite as much as I hoped to the past twelve months. Many of my resolutions are the same as in years past, and I’m hoping that this year I have enough resolve to see them through.

This year I resolve to:
1. Post more on my blog, and comment more on other blogs. This is a resolution I’ve made the past few years, and I usually start out pretty well before life gets busy.

2. Write, write, write! I did write some last year, but I’ve slacked off and not sent in as many submissions as I wanted to. This year, I am going to be watching for submission calls and submitting more.

3. Get better organized. This seems to show up every year in my resolutions, and I typically fail miserably. I made a semi-decent start last year, as I’ve been ebay-ing things and actually making a dent. This year I plan to get my storage shed emptied out and really clean things up.

4. Get in better shape. Yet another resolution that shows up every year. I did good with this last year – I didn’t make as much progress as I wanted, but progress was definitely made. I feel better, and I’m really going to make a push for this year.

5. Have more sex. Last, but certainly not least! I don’t think I’ve reached the point where I can’t have more – there’s certainly room for improvement and addition!

I hope everyone has a Happy and Successful  New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas tree of lights at Disneyworld.

©2015, Sammi Lou Thorne

This was probably one of the most amazing things I’ve seen – the Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights at Disneyworld! It was absolutely beautiful, and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen so many lights – it was like daylight outside.

No regular posts from me this week – but I’m wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday!

Happy 2015!

happynewyearLast year was eventful, and not the best on record for me. I’m hopeful that 2015 will be much better, in a lot of different ways. This morning I took a look back at my resolutions for last year – some I did well on, others not so much. This year I hope to do better…seems like I say that every year, but sometimes repetition is the charm.

This year, my resolutions are:

1. Post more on my blog.  This was a resolution I made last year, and I did, in fact, accomplish it. This year I want to post even more, and keep up with several regular posts.

2. Comment more on others’ blogs. I read a lot of blog posts, but I don’t comment as often as I should. This year I’m going to try and comment a lot more often.

3. Write, write, write! I was thrilled to get my first story published this past year, and I’m hoping to get a few more published in 2015. I intend to set aside time every night to write, whether it’s a blog post, a rambling, or an actual story idea. The more I write, the better I will be.

4. Study! Last fall I took the plunge and started learning Japanese. It was amazingly hard at first, but I feel like I’m getting a grasp of the language, both listening to and writing. In addition to writing daily, I plan to study for at least a few minutes every day, and be more proficient in this language.

5. Get in better shape.  Yes, this is on my list once again. I thought I was on track last year, but an amazing amount of things conspired against me. This is going to be the year, as I’ve got a lot of good reasons to make it happen.

6. Get better organized. This shows up every year in my resolutions. I failed miserably last year, so this year I may be defining “better organized” a bit more loosely. Honestly, at this point, anything will be “better” than last year!

7. Have more sex. Last, but certainly not the least of my resolutions! This is something that should be fairly easy to do, and a pleasure to do at that.

I hope everyone has a happy and successful New Year – here’s to 2015!

Happy New Year!

By Nathaniel F (Flickr: Happy new year!) [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

By Nathaniel F (Flickr: Happy new year!) [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

2013 is finally over, so here’s to 2014! I know I’m hoping for a good year this year, and I’m hoping I can stick to my resolutions. Some will be easier than others, but I think that’s always the case.

So, this year I resolve to:
1. Post a bit more on my blog. This was, in fact, a resolution I made last year, and I was actually successful with it. But this year I’d like to post just a bit more, whether it’s themed posts, pictures, reviews, or just writing.

2. Write, write, write! I did a fair amount of writing last year, and sent in several submissions, which I’m still waiting to hear about. This year, I am going to be watching for submission calls and submitting more. I’m going to try and write for at least 1/2 hour a day. Not just erotica, although that’s going to be my main focus – I’ve got a few horror novels started that really need some tuning and additions.

3. Get better organized. This seems to show up every year in my resolutions, and I typically fail miserably. This year, I really need to work on this, especially all those damned boxes in my garage. I also am going to attempt to go through the mail daily and keep track of things better.

4. Get in better shape. Yet another resolution that shows up every year. Last year I really got off track, in part because of some medical issues and surgery, but this year I’m working at it again. My partner is going to do this with me, so hopefully we keep each other motivated!

5. Have more sex. Last, but certainly not least! I don’t think I’ve reached the point where I can’t have more – there’s certainly room for improvement and addition!

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year!