Wicked Wednesday: Photograph

Picture yourself on a lime green vibrator…naked and floating through flowers of glass…

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TMI Tuesday: Doing Business

By Brett Hammond (Flickr: Pigal’s Peep Show) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

This week’s TMI Tuesday is the idea of Virtual Sin and the questions are a collaboration between him and TMI Tuesday Blog. Enjoy!

For each of the categories listed below, imagine that a new business or event of that type opened in your area. Tell us whether you would check it out or attend; and, whether you would go alone, with friends of your gender, or with a significant other/lover. Expound on your answer as much as you’d like.

1. Sports Bar: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I’d check out a sports bar, as long as it wasn’t golf season – during football season would be best. I wouldn’t go alone, but I’d go with either friends or my husband to watch a game or two.

2. Brew pub or beer hall: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I think this would be fun – I’d go with either friends or my husband.

3. Wine Festival: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I am so there. I’d go to a wine festival alone if I couldn’t find anyone to come with me, or with friends or husband.

4. Tanning Salon: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I’ve never been to one, and I don’t think I’d ever go. If I’m going to tan, I’d rather be out in the sun. Those little beds look awfully claustrophobic, and wasn’t one of them used to fry someone to death in a Final Destination movie? Yeah, no.

5. Sex/kink event (e.g. Dark Odyssey, Sexapalooza, Leather conferences, fetish ball, kinky salon): never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
This is an event I’d love to go to. I don’t think there’d ever be one where I live, but if one was close by, count me in. I wouldn’t go alone, but with a good friend or my husband, you bet – I’d be there with bells on….er, figuratively as well as likely literally.

6. Strip club: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I’ve been to a few strip clubs, and none of them were what I expected at all. The first one was downright horrifying – everyone looked anorexic from too much coke, plus they didn’t know how to make a long island ice tea….the second one was somewhat upscale, but still not what you see in the movies…although there was one girl who could hold empty beer bottles under her breasts…I’d go to a new one at least once, with either friends or husband.

7. Sex toy store: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
Ok, so this is probably funny considering that I worked at an online sex toy store for a few years, but I’ve never actually been in a brick-and-mortar sex toy store.  I’d like to check one out, though – I’d probably bring along my best friend, as I think we could do some serious shopping.

8. Upscale Spa: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I think this would be wonderful – and I’d most likely go with my best friend, or a group of girlfriends.

9. Adult Sex education conference (e.g. Eroticon, CatalystCon): never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I love going to conferences, although I’ve never been to one of these. I’d go alone or with my best friend.

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Wicked Wednesday: Traffic Signs

Will I have to write you a ticket? There are Dangerous Curves Ahead, and I’m Slippery When Wet….

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TMI Tuesday: Happy Hour

By Charles.Clavadetscher (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Time for fun and cheesy pick up lines at TMI Tuesday Happy Hour!

At the TMI Tuesday bar someone walks up to you and utters the following lines, Tell us how you would respond.
I really am terrible at comebacks (although slightly better if I’m a bit tipsy), but here goes:

1. Would you like to fake an orgasm with me tonight?
No, I’d rather have a real orgasm now.

2. Did you just fart because you are blowing me away?
No, that was just me blowing you off.

3. You’re hot. I’m ugly. Let’s make average babies. (Would you accept?)
I’d roll my eyes and pass.

4. I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.
But I don’t have a belly button.

5. You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong.
Prove it, or it didn’t happen.

6. You look like a hard worker, I have an opening you can fill.
I’m already employed.

7. I don’t feel good, I think I need a shot of penis-illin.
I think I need a rabies shot.

8. If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?
If you didn’t mind me tossing it over the fence.

Bonus:  Belly up to the bar. What’s your pleasure? Which one drink would you order and why?
Slippery Nipple? No one can miss the innuendo in this drink’s name. It is comprised of equal parts Bailey’s Irish Cream and butterscotch schnapps. There are many different drink names that start with ‘Slippery’, most contain either Bailey’s Irish Cream or butterscotch schnapps.

After Sex? This drink is made with vodka, crème de bananas, and orange juice.

Leg Spreader? Not for the faint of heart, there is nothing but liquor in this drink. It is made of four equal parts of nothing but alcohol: tequila, vodka, gin, and rum. Proceed with caution!

All Night Long? The inference in this name is probably what most people wish for, but one or two or these will have you passed out on the floor all night long. It contains sweet and sour mix, coconut rum, Kahlua, crème de cacao, and pineapple juice.

Sloe Comfortable Screw ?There are many drinks that play upon the pronunciation of sloe gin—pronounced slow gin. The rest of the name is a pun on all the other ingredients as well, to create a name that is as suggestive as you could want. Sloe gin for ‘slow,’ Southern Comfort for ‘comfortable,’ and orange juice and vodka for ‘screw’—as in a Screwdriver.

If I were just picking one, I’d go for All Night Long. I think I could both drink that all night, and fuck all night. But in the morning, we’d have to have an After Sex. I wonder if there’s one called Before Sex?

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Wicked Wednesday: Doubt

I have doubts sometimes, about many things…life, worth, the future…but I do not doubt your love for me…or mine for you…

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