Wicked Wednesday: Shopping

Souvenir wooden penises in Costa Rica. ©2017 Sammi Lou Thorne

Souvenir wooden penises in Costa Rica. ©2017 Sammi Lou Thorne

Shopping in the US is one of my favorite activities – I can do it from morning until night. Usually this is for clothes, shoes, or furniture, but when I’ve been traveling in the states, I’ve also done shopping for souvenirs. It’s quite different here, though, than in Costa Rica.

I recently came back from 10 amazing days in Costa Rica. One of the fun things we got to do when not exploring was to buy souvenirs. These were regular souvenir shops: no age restrictions. They sold a bit of everything: t-shirts, bags, pipes, mugs, and lots of wooden items. What kind of wooden items, right on the shelf? Coffee cups, shot glasses, models (cars, animals), bowls, penises, keychains, sculptures…yes, yes I did say dicks.

Amongst the rows of bowls, trivets, and vases were two shelves full of wooden penises. They were quite lovely – brown wood and black (the black ones larger), and some had little bowls on the balls for…rings or small items; others had can opener tops, and still other, smaller penises that had keychain fobs attached. All of them either had Costa Rica written in white on the surface or burned into the shaft.

Of the group that I was with, the teens thought it was funny and went off to look at shirts. One woman was horrified, and I didn’t think she could get out of the aisle fast enough. But the other woman I was with and I got the giggles, and we were comparing the sizes and shapes. She picked up one of the bottle openers – it was basically a penis lying on its side with the bottle opener part at the tip. She shook her head, still giggling, and then took it up to the counter, where she asked the clerk (in Spanish, but in English here):

Souvenir wooden penis bottle opener in Costa Rica. ©2017 Sammi Lou Thorne

Souvenir wooden penis bottle opener in Costa Rica. ©2017 Sammi Lou Thorne

“What is this?” waving the wooden penis in her hand.

The clerk nonchalantly replied, “It’s a bottle opener.”

We all laughed, and decided we had to come home with wooden penises, so we bought the bottle openers and the keychains. The clerk wrapped them well in bubble wrap, and they did clear customs and didn’t set off alarm bells in my carry-on. But really, what was a TSA agent going to do? If he asked me what they were, I was going to tell him, truthfully, “bottle openers and key chains.”

I did a lot more shopping in Costa Rica, but that is definitely the most memorable souvenir shopping I’ve ever done.  And the best bottle opener I own.

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TMI Tuesday: Life and Living

Gustav Klimt via Wikimedia Commons

Gustav Klimt [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

1. If happiness was a currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
I think that writing and sewing would make me a fortune.

2. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I’m totally settling for what I’m doing. There are many things I’d rather do, but they don’t pay the bills.

3. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I would do everything possible, to the fullest extent. Which is really what I should be doing now.

4. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
I’d say both – I want to do the right things, but also do them right.

5. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Make yourself happy before trying to make others happy.

Bonus: When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
I’d like to think by then that I will have done more than I’ve said.

 

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Wicked Wednesday: Blinded

Jan Ci?gli?ski [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Jan Ci?gli?ski [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

There was a time I could not see
Blinded by insecurity

And my eyes remained closed
Blinded by fear

I was afraid to open them
Blinded by anxiety

But I could feel you in my heart and I was
Blinded by hope

And I opened my eyes to find myself
Blinded by your love.

 

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TMI Tuesday: Getting To Know You!

Woman with camera reflected twice in mirror.

By Jana Vanden Eynde (Photomarathon 1) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Hmmm…going only with living people, I think I would pick Arnold Schwarzenegger. I have been a fan of his for a very long time, and I would love to meet him and have dinner with him.

2. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
A perfect day would be no obligations or commitments, no electronics…alone outdoors by the ocean or a lake, enjoying the sun and nature.

3. How much do you like your personality?
(pick just one)
a. A lot.
b. A little.
c. It needs work.
d. I am annoying sometimes.
e. I am difficult, and people have told me so.
I’ll go with b. I can be annoying, but overall I think I have a good personality, although it’s more restrained than I’d like.

4. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
I’d want the body. I would hope that my mind would stay clear the whole time, and it would suck if it didn’t, but I would rather be able to move and function like I did at 30.

5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any ability, what would it be?
Hmmm…maybe the ability to clone myself at will. That would be useful…and fun.

Bonus: How do you think you will die?
I used to think I’d drown, but with any luck I’ll die in my sleep, so I won’t know or anticipate it.

 

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Wicked Wednesday: Waves

Tsunami by Hokusai

Katsushika Hokusai [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

When your tongue finds my clit for the first time tonight,
A wave of desire begins in my heart.
Like ripples from a stone dropped out in the pond -
Starting small, and then widening, spreading apart.

As your tongue slowly licks up and down and around,
I can feel my clit swelling and standing erect,
Like the waves that surround a lone boat out at sea,
Tossing and turning me to great effect.

When your tongue starts to lap and your motions are fast
Waves of pleasure course through me like the tide,
They are strong and they take my breath quickly away
And my passion rolls, flows side to side.

As you keep the caresses and kisses and licks
coming faster and driving me crazy,
My orgasm builds like a great strong tsunami
and my vision becomes wet and hazy.

The pressure and energy builds to a great high
And then crashes through me, and I’m drowning
In pleasure so great that I scream and cry out
As the waves give my body a pounding.

And as after a storm with the waves breaking high,
then subsiding, the rocks they caress,
I come down from my high and I’m gasping for breath,
and my love for you I can assess.

We move like the tides to the pull of the moon,
And our love never ebbs but it flows.
The waves that you cause in my heart and my life
Take me through all the highs and the lows.

 

 

 

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