Several years ago I wrote a post called Perving Dr. Seuss, and one of the stories I altered was The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Since it is Christmas Eve, I thought I’d repost that part here. Enjoy, and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my readers!
Every one in Porn Valley liked fucking a lot.
But the Grinch, who lived out of the valley, did not!
The Grinch hated fucking! The sucking and tease.
He hated the anal and mass expertise.
It could be he never had played with his cock
Or toyed with his prostate or came in a sock.
I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his dick was two sizes too small.
But whatever the reason, his lack or his size,
He stood on the hill wishing for their demise.
For he knew everyone in the valley below
Was getting a clit licking now, or a blow.
“And they’re cumming on camera!” he snarled with a sneer.
“They’re fucking and sucking and banging out here.”
Then he growled with his fingers just stroking his balls,
“I must find a way to put an end to it all!
When the actors were sleeping he made his way down,
Like a coward in the night he snuck into the town.
He made his way carefully into each house,
He went on his tiptoes as quiet as a mouse.
And he stole all the dildos! Vibrators and things!
He took batteries! Lube! And he stole the cock rings!
He took all the fleshlights! He took the butt plug!
The condoms, the movies, all that he could lug!
Then he went back to his place, nastily humming,
“They’re finding out now that no one will be coming!
They’ll all cry and sob, all their toys are now gone.
Now they won’t get off anytime soon. And I will have won!”
With one hand on his cock and one hand to his ear,
The Grinch waited to hear sobs of misfortune and fear.
And he did hear a sound, but instead of bemoaning,
Twas the sound of so many down there intently coming!
He hadn’t stopped orgasms, the people they CAME!
Without any toys they came just the same!
And he puzzled about it until he was blue,
And he realized something that to him was new.
“They don’t need the extras, they don’t need the toys!
They just like having sex and creating the noise!”
And what happened then? In the valley they say
That the Grinch’s small cock grew three sizes that day!
He raced to the valley, he joined in the fun.
And he fucked and he sucked and he licked everyone.
Now all in Porn Valley liked fucking a lot.
And the Grinch, why the Grinch, he gave more than he got!
