Bad sex….too fast….too slow….too short….too long….bad sex is not defined by these, but rather by the mood, the feelings….if the body responds but the mind wanders….if the heart isn’t in it…..then the sure hand is no better than the clumsy one….and the orgasm doesn’t always make up for the distraction….although it tries to….and sometimes succeeds….
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Posted in Erotica and Stories, Wicked Wednesday
Tagged Fantasy, Sex, Stories, wicked wednesday
![By ???? (????) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons](http://funwithsammi.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Pic-sexting.jpg)
By ???? (????) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons
I’m pretty new to sexting. My husband and I have had cell phones for a long time. Both with cameras, in fact. I’d used mine to send text messages for years, and occasionally a picture or two of garage sale finds or a baseball park accident, but my husband didn’t care to text much, and I don’t think he’d ever used his camera. It had never crossed my mind to send dirty talk, much less pictures.
One day, out of the blue, my husband asked me to text him while he was at work.
“Text you what?” I asked.
“Something naughty. Maybe what you’d like to do tonight,” he replied.
I was game.
“I’m horny” I sent.
“Fuck you in the ass?” came back.
Me: “Do u want to?”
Him: “Wait till I get home.”
Me: “Can’t wait J”
That led to some very hot sex later that night!
We started doing it a few times a week. Often our conversations went something like this:
Him: I want to do you.
Me: R u horny?
Him: I’m on my way home.
One day he asked me to send him a picture from work. Seriously? But I was game. I sent him something relatively innocent – me sucking on my finger.
He texted back: That makes me hot. Show me more.
Well, ok. I went in the bathroom stall, pulled my shirt down to show some cleavage, and sent off another.
He sent back: Show me more.
That made me a bit nervous. I mean, was I really going to take a dirty picture in the bathroom?
I was.
Topless in the bathroom stall, I snapped a picture of my breasts and sent them.
Him: You’re naughty.
Me: How naughty?
Him: You deserve a spanking
Me: Promise?
He did.
For a while this became our routine. I’d shoot pictures of my boobs and send them off. Sometimes with nipple jewelry adorning them. And always faceless.
Sometimes I’d forget, and he’d call me from work. “Where’s my picture?” he’d ask. I’d run off to the bathroom to send one.
Then, one night, he lost his phone.
I knew he had it earlier in the day, because I had called him. But now it was missing. I tried calling it several times but I couldn’t hear it ringing. I checked the car, but I didn’t see it or hear it, and it started going to voicemail right away when I called, which meant it was either off or the battery had died. He went outside to look one more time, and I was pacing and getting a little nervous. Then the house phone rang.
I picked it up and said hello, and a voice said “Those are some pictures.”
I just about died! This was probably my worst fear: that someone would see my pictures.
“I…um, don’t know what you’re talking about. You found our phone? We really need to get that back.”
“They’re really interesting pictures.”
“Listen, I really need that phone…” and I heard the door open as my husband came back inside. I was shaking and in a panic as I ran the phone to him.
“Someone found the phone!” I shouted at him. And realized it was in his hand. I hadn’t recognized his voice, and he apparently thought it would be funny to trick me like that. I’ve never been so upset in my entire life! He swore he thought I knew it was him. Maybe he did. But that night I swore I would never, ever, send another picture like that to his phone.
Until 2 weeks later, when he asked me to again (he smartly waited until I’d cooled off).
We still sext several times a week, but now his phone is set to “locked”. Just in case.
![By Alice-astro (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons](http://funwithsammi.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Student-school-uniform.jpg)
By Alice-astro (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
Below is a list of academic fields of study. For as many of these disciplines as possible, share a memory. It could be something that happened in class, an Aha! moment, something about the teacher or something that was helpful later in life.
Thanks to virtualsin.wordpress.com for this week’s TMI Tuesday theme.
1. English
I had a cool English teacher in high school. One time I remember we were reading Utopian and anti-Utopian books, and having a discussion if they really were. We read Brave New World, which many of us felt could be argued either way, and then I remember asking her why we didn’t read A Clockwork Orange (I’d seen it the summer before about 50 times, as I could not get enough of Malcolm McDowell – yummy). That spawned a discussion and she said she’d seen the movie at the theater when it first came out, at which point someone piped up and said, “You saw an X-rated movie?” I don’t think, ever before or since, I’ve seen someone turn such a shade of red in embarrassment!
2. History
History was not my forte. I do remember taking Art History in college, and got probably the worst grade of my life. Art? I could do, and always did well, even at the college level. Art History? Nope.
3. Foreign Language (French, Spanish, Latin…)
I’ve taken two languages so far (Japanese is this fall’s endeavor, just for fun). I started with Spanish in Junior High, and I remember our instructor was very into us writing little scenes to act out to learn new words, tenses, etc. It started to be a real competition, and we had fun one time doing “las tres caballeras”, singing the song with lyrics we made up, and drinking water out of beer bottles.
4. Psychology
I took quite a few psychology classes in college, and I think Drugs & Behavior, and Abnormal Psych were my favorites. Drugs & Behavior was a summer class, and we had one guy in class who I think had tried every drug we studied, both legal and illegal. He had some great stories. Abnormal Psych was just overall interesting, and I still remember a lot of it.
5. Mathematics
One semester in college I had to take Calculus III. My teacher was wonderful – he was from Africa, and very funny. As a junior, I went to very few classes, so I showed up for the first day to get the syllabus, and then popped in about 2 weeks later to see what was going on. He pointed to me and said, “Ah, I see we have a new student today. Why don’t you stand up and introduce yourself?” I was pretty embarrassed, but I didn’t want to go to class 4 days a week, so I stood up and gave my name and a bit about me. I think I surprised him, as he never had me do that again – he’d just smile and nod at me when I’d walk in. End result? An A in the class – not too bad.
6. Physics
Physics was never my thing. I took it in high school, and struggled the entire year. It wasn’t as bad as Economics, but it was a close second.
7. Chemistry
Chemistry I only took in high school, but it was a lot of fun. We were always doing experiments, and that year around Christmas, we actually used the burners and “chemicals” to make candy canes.
8. Biology
I took biology in college. The only thing I remember is staying up all night studying for the final.
9. Gym
What can I say? Gym was not a favorite class of mine. I much preferred dancing to jogging.
Bonus: Did you have sex education class in school? What grade or age did you have this class? Thinking back on the sex education class what was the most surprising thing you learned? Was this class helpful to you in your sex life?
We had sex ed for the first time in 5th grade, which was basically the period discussion. It came a bit late for me, which was unfortunate, because I would have liked to have known about that change before it happened! We had it one more time in 7th grade, and I don’t remember much of it at all, quite honestly. I can’t say either of them were very surprising, and neither was helpful in my sex life – I think experience was the best teacher there.
Want to see how others answered? Check out more TMI Tuesday posts by clicking the banner below!
The word Taint has been around for a long time – since the 1500s. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, taint originated from the Middle English “teynten”, meaning “to color.” It started out as a verb meaning “to contaminate morally” or “to touch or affect slightly with something bad.” So if you were a jealous person, you would be tainted by envy. Unlucky with your family being plagued by illness, you would be tainted by grief. Crops could be tainted by mold or blight.
In the 1600s, taint also became used as a noun to mean “a contaminating mark or influence.” If you had “the taint”, you were impure and immoral. Women who lost their virginity before marriage were considered tainted by sin and shunned or ridiculed. Women who had sex outside of marriage were tainted by adultery and forced to wear a scarlet “A”. Witches were often considered tainted by the Devil or evil, unclean spirits. At least until they were hung or drowned. Then they were tainted no more.
Food can be tainted when it is spoiled. If you leave potato salad out on the counter, it can become tainted with bacteria and make you ill. Decomposing matter can be tainted with germs. Wine can be tainted by bad smells or tastes which can’t be detected until the wine is bottled, aged, and opened. At that point, it’s usually undrinkable.
More recently, taint has become the slang term used to mean the area, either on a man or a woman, that lies between the anus and the balls or the vagina. I had never heard of this area referred to that way until my husband used the word. I wasn’t sure what he was referring to exactly when he said something about licking the taint.
“The what?” I asked.
“You know, the taint.”
“No, I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head.
“Well,” he said, ’T ain’t pussy, and ‘t ain’t ass…”
Oh, now I got it.
In a man’s case, of course, this would be “T ain’t the balls and ‘t ain’t the ass…”. Either way, it’s a strange term.
Why use a word with such a definition? I mean, it’s a great area. It’s super sensitive, both on women and men, and it’s great to gently stroke with a finger. It’s also feels wonderful when licked and caressed with a tongue. It’s possible to bring a man to climax by stroking this area while stimulating his penis or balls, and it can drive a woman wild. It’s that nether region where you can go when your partner doesn’t want anything near their anus. It can be teased and tickled, but never pinched. It can even be hit lightly with a hand or a small whip for a little extra bite.
I realize that it’s a “cute” contraction, but surely that area could have a better name. Maybe it should be called the ‘Tis. Because ‘tis great to stroke. ‘Tis between the balls or vagina and anus. ‘Tis nice to stimulate. ‘Tis nice to lick and savor. And ‘tis nice to have.
Let’s be more positive. No more taint, folks!
(This article was originally posted with non-exclusive rights on EdenCafe).
Comments Off on Word Of The Week: Taint
Posted in Erotica and Stories
Tagged Sex, Stories, Uncategorized
There was once a chance I didn’t take….
I’ve been told I have a great voice….for phone sex. I’ve never done it for a living…..
Talk to me….
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