The Dead Don’t Just Walk…

freaksinboxesI’ll be reviewing all five of the Fleshlight Freaks dildos this month, because October seemed to be the perfect time to do so.  Fleshlight made five Freaks dildos in all,  each with a different design, and all fun for monster lovers.   All five come in a black box withe spooky green lettering and showcasing the Freak through the front.  They’re certainly not for everyone, but if you like unusual and textured large dildos, they’re definitely worth a look.  My first review for this month was for the Dracula, my newest acquisition. The Zombie was the first Freak I got, and made me want to get the rest.

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This Zombie isn’t after your brains! The Zombie cock is great for those who like thicker dildos with heavy texturing and long insertable length, and, of course, who like zombies. Created in muddy brown silicone with attention to every vein and rip, the Zombie is at the least an interesting dildo to add to your collection, and at the best a marvelously textured dildo that will have you screaming for more…in a good way.

Zombies are more popular than ever, thanks in part to The Walking Dead – and season 3 premieres tonight! If you’ve ever fantasized about having sex with a well-endowed zombie, Fleshlight’s line of Freak dildos offers the Zombie cock for your pleasure. It’s not your brains it’s after! It likely won’t be the prettiest dildo in your collection, but its insane detailing and amazing texture from its tip to its balls will delight you during an evening of undead love. Although the Zombie is one of the smallest in the Freaks line, it will be best enjoyed, either vaginally or anally, by those who prefer some girth and insertable length (it’s the second longest).

zombieinhandIf you hate the ideas of zombies and rotting flesh, this isn’t the dildo you’ll want to get. The design is great, but you have to take this dildo in the spirit it’s offered in. The Zombie is brown – its color is best described as muddy or earthy (a nice touch). The detailing is accented with slightly darker brown, which accentuates every vein and tear.  This dildo stands 8 1/4″ tall, with about 7” insertable. It has a slight curve, so it may work for your g-spot even though the material is flexible. Length-wise, the Zombie is shorter than only the Frankenstein dildo.

At 1 3/4″ in diameter, the Zombie has one of the smallest girths of the line (no surprise, the Frankenstein holds this record as well), although that diameter isn’t exactly small. Combined with the texture, this makes the Zombie rather formidable, and it will be most enjoyable if you like both size and texture together in your toys.

The balls are thick and high (about 1 1/4″ high altogether), and the bottom is completely flat. It has some suction ability on a flat surface but, as the Zombie is on the heavy side, it won’t stay in place well on a shower wall. The balls do make it easy to grip the toy during vigorous thrusting.

The Zombie is made of silicone, so it’s hypoallergenic, nonporous, latex free and phthalates free. It has no odor or taste (fortunately that isn’t realistic!). The silicone is flexible and squishy to the touch, so the Zombie will move and flex with you. It has a bit of drag not due to the detailing, and is a touch…sticky.

zombieheadThe texture on the Zombie is phenomenal. The head is the lightest textured, but up and down the shaft run veins, lines, and missing, ripped “flesh” pieces. In places the Zombie looks like the flesh has…pulled or rotted away, so you see some of the muscle underneath. This missing skin detail extends down onto the balls. The Zombie is large enough that the texture is easily felt internally, even if it looks fairly mild, so if you are not a texture fan you won’t want this undead date.

With its perpetual erection, the Zombie stays hard and pleases till you’re done. It requires a good covering of lubricant due to the texture (a thicker waterbased lube will work best). The head isn’t so lipped as to cause pain during thrusting. Although it can be thrust while it’s held in any position, it’s a bit more comfortable when it curves into your front vaginal wall (balls down if you’re on your back, or balls up if you’re in doggy-style). However, since it does flex and move with your body, it can be used “upside down”, where the balls are positioned over your clit. If you can take the entire length, the balls provide pleasant pressure and sensation when thrusting.

It’s best to start slowly when thrusting with the Zombie – this will allow you to get used to the texture. Once you’re warmed up, faster thrusting works well.

Even with all of its detailing, the Zombie is fairly easy to clean. It can be washed before and after use with water and antibacterial soap, and allowed to air dry. You’ll want to work your fingers over the surface, or use a very soft brush, to make sure to clean all of the textured areas. The Zombie can also be boiled or run through the dishwasher on the top rack (no soap). Only waterbased lubes (thicker lubes work better) should be used. If you choose to use the Zombie anally, using a condom will make cleaning a lot easier.  The box can be used for storage, but only with the clear tray – the black tray is flimsier and will rip after some handling. The Zombie’s flat base allows it to be stored upright on a shelf; it can also be stored in a toy bag

zombieinhand2So, Did It Work?  This is quite an amazing dildo. Even though it’s not going to win any beauty contests, the texture is some of the best I’ve felt on a toy. The amount of veins and textured areas is something else. Even when I was fully aroused this dildo needed some lube, and Maximus worked a lot better than the first lube we used (it was just too thin). The Zombie wasn’t hard to insert, but I found out quickly that quick thrusting wasn’t the way to go to start out – it actually felt a bit uncomfortable. Once I’d adjusted to the size and texture, however, the harder, faster thrusting felt great.

My partner really liked the size and shape of the base. He found it easy to hold while he was thrusting this into me. His hands didn’t have to encircle the balls, and that was how we found that turning the Zombie so the balls were over my clit worked really well. He could keep control on the base and do very short thrusts – poundings, almost, and the whole Zombie package brought me to orgasm.

I think an enjoyment of zombies (not necessarily carnal) is needed to appreciate this dildo. It’s not pretty, and if you have an imagination you can picture what it might be attached to. Be that as it may, the size and texture really make this one stand out.

The Zombie is one of five amazing Freaks dildos, and it’s shown below (far right) with, from left to right, the Dracula, Alien, Cyborg, and Frankenstein.   All five will be reviewed this month!

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Author’s note: This product was received for free in exchange for the review I wrote above, and the review was previously published  on another website which was granted non-exclusive rights to the content.  I am reposting it here with some modifications.

4 Responses to The Dead Don’t Just Walk…

  1. Yay, my favourite!
    I don’t care for zombies or (un)dead corpses at all, but I adore this dildo. So much, actually, that I might buy it even though I’m pretty sure it’s too big for me. It’s just so amazingly detailed, and it’s interesting – not to mention totally cool – to be able to see what hides under the surface. I guess I’m weird that way. :-) The muddy colour is a brilliant touch, too.

  2. I agree with Rossie on this one– it’s a cool design but yuck on the color scheme!

  3. He might not be as big as his brothers, but he’s by no means tiny! The details are really cool, I love that they put so much effort into it. I wonder which one is next!

  4. Good to know the texture and veins are awesome, but that color of rotting flesh still freaks me out!