TMI Tuesday: Would You Rather…?

Such a loaded question, “Would you rather…?”.  Here’s what I’d rather for the following questions, in my first TMI Tuesday post.

1. Would you rather be smart or awesome? Why?
That’s a tough one, but I’d rather be smart. If I was smart enough, I’d be able to figure out how to make people think I was awesome as well. Win, win.

2. Would you rather french kiss a cat or pleasure a frog?
I’m not sure french kissing a cat would be a good idea – they’ve got those tiny, sharp teeth. I’d rather pleasure a frog…who knows, maybe making a frog happy would turn it into a prince.

3. Would you rather live the rest of your life with Darth Vader’s voice or Alvin the Chipmunk’s voice?
There are very few things as annoying as Alvin the Chipmunk’s voice – and these include fingernails scraping down a chalkboard, cats in heat, to name just a few.  I’d rather have Darth Vader’s voice – I’d probably scare the shit out of people, but I’d sure get their attention.

4. Would you rather sail the Caribbean on a week long FREE cruise with the ship’s crew and 20 five-year-old children or shovel coal in a coal mine for a month?
I’m not into manual labor, and shoveling coal would be worse, so I’d rather do the week long free cruise. There’s nothing that says I can’t wear earplugs or that I have to actually take care of them, and besides, kids can be amusing.

5. Would you rather make an obscene phone call to your mother once a week or get a text message from your father every time he’s horny? Why?
Ok, ewwww to both! At least with a text message, I wouldn’t have to talk to them, and besides, who’s to say dad wouldn’t text something innocuous when he was horny, like “Where’s the beef?” or “Hold the pepperoni”? I’d rather get a text message from my father.

6. Would you rather have dinner with all your exes at once or with five guys on death row having their last meal?
This one was tough, for some reason.  I don’t have a lot of exes – and they’re all from high school or before. It’d be like having dinner with complete strangers that I once knew and maybe kissed. Well, a few that I fucked, but still. Five guys on death row might have more interesting conversation to offer, and there might be the possibility of an interesting fantasy as an after-dinner dessert. So…I’d rather have dinner with the five guys on death row.

Bonus: Write one unique question for possible use in a future TMI Tuesday, and submit it as your bonus answer for this week.
Tell me about the first car you had sex in, and how you did it. Where were you, and were you caught, either by a parent, passerby, or the law?