A shoegasm, originally used on Sex and the City, is defined by the online Urban Dictionary as “Sexual pleasure you get from buying, wearing, or just looking at a kick ass pair of shoes.” Like a regular orgasm, a shoegasm can be brief and intense, or build up to a heightened state of pleasure. It can wash over you with waves of pleasure and excitement, almost better than the real thing, leaving you exhausted and satisfied and ready for more.
I had my first shoegasm recently on a shopping trip out of town. Now, I own my fair share of shoes. I probably own several people’s fair share to be honest. I’m always buying new pairs in every color and style imaginable. I have flip flops, sandals, dress shoes, boots, tennis shoes and stripper heels – you name it, I have it. Except for a pair of saddle shoes: I recently sold them on eBay.
My shoes give me a lot of satisfaction, and also a bit of consternation in the morning. Surrounded by shoes, it can be hard to decide what to wear. Sometimes I pick the shoe and then pick the outfit; other times I have the outfit and try and select just one that matches the best.
I’ve never been in an exciting shoe store, though, until we were at a new shopping area, and I saw a store that I had browsed online that sold shoes. I convinced my husband that we had to stop there after we finished in the electronics store, and when we did, I almost swooned when we walked in the door.
I’d never seen so many pairs of shoes in my life! An entire floor. Hundreds, maybe a 1000 pairs. And all for women! That shoegasm was definitely starting. Row after row of shoes. Cute shoes. Hot shoes. Good brand shoes, all of them, and at decent prices. My husband camped in front of the TV with the other men while I browsed, filling my arms with boxes of shoes to try on.
And then I found the sale room.
I wear size 10, and typically when I enter clearance sections I’m lucky to browse 4 or 5 pairs. But here, there were literally 100 pairs! Prices up to 80% off! I could have come right then and there. Of course, I had to try on almost every pair, from sandals to heels, and even a pair of knee high black stiletto boots! My husband came back a few times, shook his head at me surrounded by open boxes, and went back to the TV.
Eventually I had my selection down to 20 pairs. This seemed excessive to me, so after about 20 minutes I managed to wheedle the pile of boxes down to 9 pairs that I just couldn’t live without. When my husband came back again to see how I was doing, he just said, “Really? Nine pairs”
“Really,” I told him with a rather glazed look on my face. “I’m showing incredible restraint here,” I said. He was able to exercise more restraint when we went back to the electronics store, and more restraints when we played for the evening.
If you’ve never had a shoegasm, you don’t know what you’re missing. And once you have one, you’ll want to have one again and again.
(This article was originally posted with non-exclusive rights on EdenCafe).
