Sqweel of Disappointment

I’ve been itching to try LoveHoney’s Sqweel since I first saw it. I love oral sex, and since this is supposed to simulate a licking tongue, I jumped at the chance to review this for Babeland when they offered it for review.

The Sqweel comes in a hinged metal tin with LoveHoney Sqweel embossed on the lid. A cardboard slipcase covers the tin with some information about the product and a picture. Inside the box are the Sqweel, instructions on use and cleaning, and a sample of Sliquid.

I must say that the Sqweel was smaller than I was expecting. For some reason I thought the tongues would be tongue-sized. The Sqweel is 4 1/2″wide, and 5” long, with a thickness of 1 1/2″. It fits easily in the palm of your hand, and is easy to grasp. The whole outer case is black, and smooth and velvety to the touch.

The battery compartment is located on the squared end of the Sqweel. To access, simply press the arrow on the indicated rectangle where it says open, and the lid pops off. The Sqweel takes 3 AAA batteries, and the battery direction is clearly labeled.

The top is easy to remove by holding each side of the case and pressing the round end off in the direction of the arrows. This reveals the tongue wheel. The wheel consists of 10 pink tongues, which look like flower petals with a slight upward curve. Each tongue is 1” long and 1” wide at its widest point. The tongues are soft, flexible, and squishy.I have to say, next to dragon penises, this is one of the strangest looking toys I’ve ever seen! Ten lapping tongues? Well, ok. I’ll try anything once.

On the bottom of the square end is the intensity slider, which has 3 speeds. These speeds are very low, low, and medium low. I suspect this is to better simulate the lapping speed of an average tongue, but I would have preferred a higher speed as well. The Sqweel is pretty quiet, and it won’t be heard if you’ve got it under the covers with some background music on.  You can hold the Sqweel to have the tongues lap up or lap down, whichever is your preference.

The Sqweel’s tongues are made of silicone, while the case is made from ABS plastic. The toy is latex-free and phthalates-free, and can be disasssembled and thoroughly cleaned. To remove the tongue wheel, simply put your thumbs in the teardrop shaped indentations on the back side and twist gently in a clockwise direction. The lid will slide and pop off, allowing you to remove the wheel. The tongues can be cleaned with warm water and antibacterial soap and allowed to dry. The case should be wiped inside and out with a damp cloth.

So, Does it Work? Sadly, not well for me. On any speed, when the tongues are lubed and gently held against my clit, I will say the sensation is delightful. It does feel a bit like lapping tongues. The sensations are nice, gentle, and teasing, and I want them that way for about 1 minute.

The big problem with the Sqweel occurred when I applied any kind of pressure. Now, when I’m getting oral sex, I get to a point pretty quickly where I grab my partner’s hair and grind his face into my clit. Tongue pressure and tongue suction are definitely required. But with the Sqweel, when I applied too much pressure, regardless of the speed I was on, the tongues ground to a halt. This was not good and intensely frustrating, and made me squeal in disappointment. Every time I’d try again, I’d promise myself not to press, and I’d do it again and make the Sqweel stop. 

While this is unique and kind of fun, I didn’t find it useful for any kind of prolonged session since I couldn’t grind into it. I had to switch off to either my partner’s tongue or a good bullet to really get the pressure and vibration I needed.

If you don’t need pressure and like light stimulation, you might enjoy the Sqweel. Otherwise, you’ll be better off with a real tongue or a harder toy.

I’d like to thank Babeland for satisfying my curiousity, and sending me the LoveHoney Sqweel for review!

This product was provided to me free of charge by Babeland in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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