Tag Archives: BDSM

I’ve missed a few Kink of the Week posts, having discovered them a bit after they started, and since Jade has opened up all previous topics this holiday season I thought I’d tackle a few of the ones that I missed. I probably won’t get to all 15, but you never know! I decided to start all the way back with the first Kink Of The Week topic: spanking.

When I was little, I hated getting a spanking. And I got quite a few, I must admit. Sometimes, it was baring my butt and getting a hard, angry hand slapping me so hard I’d cry. That was pretty rare, though. Usually it was spankings with a yardstick, and those were a lot worse, even though they weren’t always on my bare ass. The sound of the ruler was always tremendous, and I remember one or two breaking in use when my mother was particularly pissed off about something I’ve done. Thankfully I never had splinters in my ass.

Now that I’m grown, it’s quite different. It wasn’t something my partner did right away in our relationship – and it started casually. I’d walk past him, and he’d slap my ass. Sometimes it was very soft, and other times it stung. I’d usually jump and laugh and pull away, and sometimes I’d get him back, sneaking up behind him and giving his ass a slap.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m a bit of a tease, and one day I went a bit too far, prompting him to grab me and turn me over his knee. I struggled, not knowing what was coming, and then he spanked me. He didn’t do it terribly hard, but hard enough that it stung. I did like it, and for me it was different than the spankings I’d had as a child, because there was no anger behind it. He wasn’t doing it to hurt me, and it was a bit of a turn on.

We don’t incorporate spanking all the time, or what I consider spanking (which is with the hand only). Sometimes it’s over his knee, and he’ll spank me until my ass is pretty red. Other times I’ll be bound, and he’ll warm me up with a spanking before switching to a flogger, paddle, or crop. As with a lot of things, the anticipation of the next slap is arousing, and even though I can feel my ass burn for quite a while afterwards, I like the feeling. Our spanking is playful, and never a punishment – at most I’d call it a “funishment”, and something to look forward to.

 

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First let me say that I love the word “funishment” – my autocorrect changes it to “punishment” – and it really describes how my partner and I play. As I mentioned in a previous post, neither of us is into real punishment, although the punishment during our play times is quite real and often painful. When we play, it’s often with the expectation that there will be punishment involved. It isn’t necessary to have a reason for it, although it could be considered correcting behavior – said behavior being me teasing and obnoxious during the day so he can take me to task.

Sometimes, an hour or two beforehand, he’ll tell me to go put something in (usually a plug, but sometimes a remote-controlled vibrating egg). He gets in some punishment with the egg, as he has the remote, and can turn it on and off at will, which can totally drive me crazy until it’s time to have sex. Especially if I’m plugged, he’ll often have me bend over so he can spank me for being bad, while putting his finger through the plug’s base to get me to orgasm.

Whether I’m tied up or not, the crop certainly stings, and it’s an amazing turn-on even though it hurts. I’ve had to ask for mercy a few times because my ass just can’t take another blow, and he always stops right away – because we’re having fun, and for him to continue would take it too far for us.

Not all of our funishment is painful – although it’s still pretty torturous. He likes to tease me towards orgasm, and get me right to the edge before denying me the release. It’s a game to a point, until I can’t handle not cumming, at which point he lets me, often rather explosively.

Usually our play isn’t scripted, although we have done the prisoner/cop, or seductive maid/master on occasion. It’s usually more free-form, with a few typical punishments, although what really varies are the toys we use and the bondage employed: collared and cuffed, hogtied, attached to a spreader, or held in position for the machine. For one of the most intense punishment scenes we do, he’ll “chain” me to one of our pieces of sex furniture and then blindfold me. I’m immobilized, aroused, and I don’t know what’s coming until the first blow of his hand or the first touch of the vibrator. Depending on how I’m bound, I can guess if the machine will soon be pounding into me as his cock goes down my throat and the crop makes me try and jump, or if he’s planning more teasing punishment with a flogger.

What do I get out of it? To be dominated and punished like this after a stressful day is both a release and a turn-on for me, and I relish giving up control. The pain makes my orgasms more intense, and afterwards I’m incredibly sated and at peace. It’s something I’m glad we both enjoy and are able to do on a regular basis.

 

 

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I remember when I first read “Tarnsman of Gor.” I was fairly young, and had just come off of reading Edgar Rice Burroughs’  John Carter books. I was attracted by the covers, as I was a huge fan already of Boris Vallejo, and the idea of a “Counter-Earth” was intriguing. So I waded into Tarl Cabot’s experiences on Gor.

At the time I didn’t realize, and actually I didn’t know until much later, that the concepts in the books between kajira (slaves) and their masters went beyond the book and that many people practiced the Gorean philosophy and lifestyle. I do remember from the books there were a variety of slave positions, and the slaves knew to assume positions quickly at command.

We don’t have formal positions either inside or outside of the bedroom, and our informal positions involve keeping my legs apart enough for access. We use them pretty frequently during play, but there’s no correction for form, and no expectation of quickly assuming any one position.

When I kneel, it’s typically with my ankles close and my knees spread so he has access to fondle or finger me. It’s also more comfortable to ride a floor-mounted dildo that way, which he likes to watch me do. My arms aren’t in any particular position or placement – sometimes they’re free; other times they may be cuffed behind my back or clipped to my collar.

Sometimes the position is me bending over while still standing. Again, not something formal, but I bend over and support myself with my arms on the table or chair while he does what he wants from behind, and I try not to move if he decides to spank me with his hand or a crop.

The only other position we have like this is on my hands and knees. He’ll often move around, and sometimes he prefers this position for me so he can fuck my mouth while a machine fucks my pussy. It’s also easier for him to use a crop on me this way, and this is a position I can hold longer than others.

I think it might be fun to have a few more formal positions, but we haven’t worked up to anything like that yet. One of these days…

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We’re not into real punishment. That’s not to say that the punishment that goes on during our play times isn’t real – some of it is downright painful. But it’s all part of our sexual play, not always necessary but sometimes desired. I’m not a pain slut, by any means, but after a long, hard week I will be ornery when I come home. I’ll be annoying, teasing, and downright obnoxious at times, so that when the collar goes on and it’s time to play, I know I’m going to be sorry. Sorry in a pretty good way, and I relish getting these kind of punishments, whether it’s getting my bottom spanked so hard it’s red and sore, or being mercilessly teased towards orgasm and denied until I can’t handle the punishment any more. It turns him on, and it turns me on.

All of that teasing and being obnoxious, however, never results in real punishment. It’s just not our everyday dynamic – and I don’t see how it would fit into our life outside the bedroom. Nor would I want it to. For us, any aspect of punishment is playful at its heart, and it’s sexual and a turn on, not being dealt by one of us to the other as a way to curb and/or change behavior that the other doesn’t like.

 

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