Tag Archives: Bondage

Kink Of The Week: Punishment – Real

Titian [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Titian [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

We’re not into real punishment. That’s not to say that the punishment that goes on during our play times isn’t real – some of it is downright painful. But it’s all part of our sexual play, not always necessary but sometimes desired. I’m not a pain slut, by any means, but after a long, hard week I will be ornery when I come home. I’ll be annoying, teasing, and downright obnoxious at times, so that when the collar goes on and it’s time to play, I know I’m going to be sorry. Sorry in a pretty good way, and I relish getting these kind of punishments, whether it’s getting my bottom spanked so hard it’s red and sore, or being mercilessly teased towards orgasm and denied until I can’t handle the punishment any more. It turns him on, and it turns me on.

All of that teasing and being obnoxious, however, never results in real punishment. It’s just not our everyday dynamic – and I don’t see how it would fit into our life outside the bedroom. Nor would I want it to. For us, any aspect of punishment is playful at its heart, and it’s sexual and a turn on, not being dealt by one of us to the other as a way to curb and/or change behavior that the other doesn’t like.

 

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Create a Scandal

October’s winding up, with just Halloween left! Red and black abound, whether on devils and grim reapers trick-or-treating down the street, or spicing up hot lingerie and bedroom accessories. It’s one of my favorite sexy color combinations, sparking heat and passion whether in the bedroom or out on the town. This month, as part of Cal Exotics’ Sexpert program, I received the Scandal Bed Restraints, which fit into the month’s color scheme, for free in exchange for this unbiased review.

scandal boxThe Scandal Bed Restraints come in a large cardboard box, and they’re shown being worn on both the front and back. The back of the box has information on the restraints. On the bottom of the box, as well as the inside, the red and black pattern of the cuffs is shown. Inside the box, all pieces are sealed in a plastic bag: four cuffs that can be used for wrists/ankles, 4 adjustable tethers, and an extension piece for oversized beds. Along with all this, you get a small paper showing the proper setup of the restraints.

scarletintheboxThe four included cuffs are identical. Each cuff is 2” wide and 11” long. On the front, they’re covered with a shiny red fabric with a black lacy design. A 1” wide Velcro strip is sewn securely down the middle. About 7” of it is the rough Velcro side, and the smooth Velcro extends about 6” off the other side, making the cuffs very adjustable. They’re long enough to fit most all sizes of wrists and ankles. If your wrists or ankles are small the cuff will overlap, and if they’re large, you’ll end up with a section of skin that’s only covered by the Velcro strip. The cuffs are lightly padded, and are covered with soft, plush black material on the inside, so they won’t irritate your skin when worn.

scarletsinglecuffOn the top of each cuff is secured a black metal O-ring (nickel-free iron), and attached to this is a swivel clip (a nickel-free alloy)for easy fastening to the tethers. Of course, you can also attach the cuffs to themselves or other rings.

The tethers are each 60” long and 1” wide. Both ends have an O-ring on the end, and one O-ring has a swivel clip attached.  The end with just the O-ring has a slide clasp (made of Polyoxymethylene, or POM), so the length of the tether can be adjusted as needed. The tethers are strong, and are made out of Polypropylene (PP). The extension piece is also 60” long and 1” wide, with an O-ring on each end.

scarletconnectorsThe tethers can be used in a variety of ways. Without the extender, they can be joined under the bed by the swivel clips and placed and shortened as necessary to restrain cuffed wrists and ankles.  For extra large beds or play surfaces, they can be attached to the O-rings of the extender in pairs – two at each end – and shortened as necessary. They can also be clipped to any other type of ring, or even wrapped around the bedposts, for a variety of play scenarios.

This set can be spot cleaned or washed in the washing machine in a lingerie bag, and hung to dry. All the pieces fold up quite small, so they can be stored in a medium-sized bag in a drawer. The large packaging box can be recycled.

So, Did It Work? I like this set of restraints! I really like the red and black design of the cuffs, and they look quite nice when I’m wearing them with red or black lingerie. I find them comfortable to wear – the cuffs overlap on my wrists, but they still look nice, and the ankle cuffs fit well.  All of the cuffs are easy to adjust, and the Velcro keeps them securely closed once they’re put on. They don’t rub painfully against my skin if I’m struggling in them, either.  I like that the cuffs have the swivel clasps on them – this way they’re ready to go if we use them with the restraints, a spreader bar, or even clipped to themselves. The cuffs can be clipped so your wrists are together or your ankles are together, or you can even clip wrist cuff to ankle cuff so you’re restrained in position.

scarletanklesThe tethers are easy to slip up under the mattress when we’re not playing, and they’re very easy to adjust. We found a few other ways to use them as well, since I seem to have a lot of apparatuses with rings these can attach to.

The Cal Exotics Scandal line has several matching pieces that can be used with this set, including a collar and leash, eye mask, paddle, ball gag, harnesses, and a spreader bar – and I think I’ll pick up a few of these to go with my set.

Thank you to Cal Exotics for sending me the Scandal Restraint Set for free to review as part of the Sexpert program! If you’re interested in the Bed Restraints or other products in the Scandal line, you can pick some up at SheVibe by clicking the widget below.

This product was provided to me for free in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

Kink Of The Week: Gags

By Elmo Love (Flickr: Ferrachu. 382) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

By Elmo Love (Flickr: Ferrachu. 382) [CC-BY-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

 I’m no stranger to gags. We started way back, before we were into anything very kinky (and even before we owned any sex toys), when I lived in the college dorms. I’m a bit loud when I cum – “bit loud” being rather an understatement, as I could probably wake the dead should they decide to walk the earth again, and college dorm walls are very, very thin. When I cum, I cum hard, and I cum loud. Background noise doesn’t do much to cover my shrieking either. I’ve had to lie, on many occasions, about the sounds coming from my room. Screams? No, that wasn’t me. That was the horror movie we were watching…yeah, right.

My partner used to cover my mouth with his hand to try and muffle me, but I could still scream pretty loud from behind it, and sometimes he wanted his hand free for other things. We’ve used many items, including wadded up panties, handkerchiefs, and his shirts. And then one day we got a gag. A real one, that is, with a bright red ball and leather straps. It muffled me a fair amount, but what it did best was make me incapable of speaking. I can mumble, I can drool, and I can scream into it all I want, while my partner has his way.

I like ball gags. I can bite into them a bit when I need to, and I think they look pretty hot. I’ve had other insertable gags as well, although I’ve never tried an inflatable one. The one thing, however, that my partner doesn’t care for much is that they leave my mouth inaccessible. I don’t care for this much either, as I love to suck his cock when I’m tied down (or tied up, depending on the position). This little problem made me get a ring gag. Not all ring gags are large enough to accommodate a cock, but I did find one that worked, and that I could actually wear for a time (I’m told I have a big mouth, but some of these gags really push my limit). My partner likes it because it keeps my mouth open for him to use when he wants, and if I’m cumming, I won’t (read can’t) bite down. They certainly make me drool a lot more.

I don’t find gags humiliating at all – to me they’re hot and erotic, particularly the ones I have. We don’t always use one, but when my partner brings one out or asks me to choose one to wear, it’s a sign that we’re going to have a rough and kinky night. It makes me wet with anticipation of what’s to come; whether I’m screaming against the ball in my mouth or around his cock down my throat, I like it.

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Kink of the Week: Leather

by Cpl. Matt Millham : Steer wrestler Luke Branquinho at the Pace Picante Pro Rodeo Chute Out in Las Vegas - public domain via Wikipedia Commons

by Cpl. Matt Millham : Steer wrestler Luke Branquinho at the Pace Picante Pro Rodeo Chute Out in Las Vegas – public domain via Wikimedia Commons

I’ve always loved leather, particularly the way it smells. This probably stems from growing up in the west, with saddle and western shops everywhere. You can smell it the minute you walk in – it’s a smell that’s hard to describe, but it’s fresh, and sensuous. I used to love to admire the saddles throughout the store, running my fingers over the intricate patterns in the leather and inhaling the scent. At the rodeos, the smell of leather was mixed with sweat, but it still smelled damn fine – did it have something to do with the rugged cowboys in their tight jeans, spurred boots, and hats? Could be. It’s certainly an association I still make with the scent of good leather, and I do find it arousing. Continue reading

Kink Of The Week: Hoods

By Kevin Collins [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

By Kevin Collins [CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

The first time I ever saw a hood used during sex was in a porn DVD we rented. I still remember the scene, which was in Flesh Hunter 7 : Teagan Presley, who I really liked back then, dressed as a rather provocative Little Red Riding Hood, and the two men she’d have sex with in full leather dog hoods, or masks. The hoods didn’t stay on for the whole scene, but they certainly were striking, quite unforgettable, and added an exciting edge to the action.

I’ve seen hoods many times since, but very rarely the dog ones, and rarely on DVD. Hoods are prevalent on Kink.com and on some of the fetish sites I visit, in all manner of designs and styles. When I worked at an adult store, we even carried a few, although they were pretty basic.

I don’t own any hoods, and I’ve never played with them. I do think there are some that are pretty hot looking (and I mean that in the sexy way, although they’re probably hot both ways). But, that said, I also find them kind of scary. I don’t think I could wear a full one, especially if it didn’t have eye holes or a mouth hole. I’m not sure I’d be comfortable in any of the others, either, although I realize that comfort is not the objective. My partner isn’t interested in trying these, at least not any time soon, either, but if it was something he wanted to explore, I’d certainly give it a try.  I think it might be interesting if he wore a hood as the dominant, though. It might make things more intense if I couldn’t read his facial expressions and know what to expect.

Be sure to click through and read other Kink of the Week posts!