Category Archives: Kink of the Week

Martin van Maële [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

I love to hang out on social sites like Twitter, Facebook, and FetLife, as well as forums like AdultDVDTalk, just to name a few. I’m not the most active poster sexually on these sites (although that’s not to say I haven’t done my share), but I do like to “watch”: to read, to view pictures and postings, and to get turned on by what I see and read. Is it secretive? It is in the sense that others on the sites don’t know when or what I’m reading and getting turned on to, it is.

I watch a lot of porn. You’d probably be amazed just how much I watch, in part because I review an awful lot of DVDs, but I love watching porn online as well. Watching porn is a bit voyeuristic, as I’m watching someone getting naked and getting fucked, and they don’t know I’m watching their activities. It isn’t live sex (memorex, maybe?) but it’s something that I’m watching unbeknownst to them. It’s a huge turn on, as it sparks ideas and basically gets me horny as hell.

Neither of these, obviously, involves watching “in the flesh”, so to speak. I haven’t secretly watched anyone getting undressed or having sex. I watch my partner on occasion as he’s getting undressed or masturbating, and he may not know I’m watching at first, but he knows soon enough as I can’t help but join him. There were a few times in college, although that was listening to sex and not watching it… auditory voyeurism, I suppose. I had a pretty horny roommate, and her boyfriend’s dorm room was not as attractive as ours. Either that, or they didn’t care if I heard them fucking like cats on the other bed. Many a night I woke up to them squealing and moaning, and a few times I masturbated while listening to them, but most nights I either tried to go back to sleep or reached up and flipped the radio on to drown them out (and no, that didn’t make them stop – go figure).

While we don’t have play parties here, at least that I’ve ever been able to find, I would actually love to go to one and watch, whether or not it involved explicit sex. I’d consider that voyeuristic, even though it wouldn’t be secretive. It’d certainly be fun.

Be sure to click through and read other Kink of the Week posts!

Dessins de Martin van Maële. Illustration d’un poème de Paul Verlaine. 1907 ({{PD-1923}} – published before 1923 and public domain in the US)

Ah, fellatio. I’ve never met a man who didn’t like it. For this week’s Kink Of The Week, Jade posted a long list of euphemisms for one of my favorite sexual activities, many of which I’d never heard of. One in particular I’d heard of in a different context: Worship at the Altar has always been synonymous for me with Worshiping the Porcelain God, which I’ve been known to do on occasion when I’ve had way too much to drink and have to plant myself in front of the toilet. Of all the terms on the list, I like blow job the best, and that’s usually what I call it.

I’ve said I never met a man who didn’t like to get a blow job, but I’ve had plenty of friends who don’t like to give them. I’ve never really understood why (many of them didn’t enjoy receiving cunnilingus, either). It’s not something I ever feel I have to do, but it’s something I like to do. I like to do it a lot, and would rather not do without it. I have a bit of an oral fixation, and I’ve found nothing quite gets to my partner like seductively eating a banana or licking and sucking on a popsicle. The eye contact is everything.

I suppose fellatio might qualify as a kink, although I  don’t find blow jobs particularly kinky in and of themselves.  Quite honestly, I’ve always considered them just a normal, necessary – and even somewhat vanilla – pleasurable part of foreplay and sexual intimacy, and there are few things I’d rather do. I have a bit of a gag reflex but I’ve learned to suppress it, and I do enjoy deepthroating my partner. Not surprisingly, I like my porn to feature lots of blow jobs as well, whether it’s deepthroating, face fucking, or blow bangs.

Giving a blow job can be a submissive act, but it isn’t always. If I’m wearing an open-mouth gag so he can slide in and out of my mouth at will, it’s submissive. If he’s fucking my throat, and I’m expected to open wide and not gag, it’s submissive. But other times, when I’m free to tease the head of his cock with my tongue, and take him in my mouth at my own pace, I’m the one in control, and there’s nothing submissive about it.  I can lick him from the tip to the base of his shaft, making him quiver. I can lick and kiss his balls, and my breath on them can make his cock twitch in its hardness. I can use my hands to gently squeeze his balls as I take him all the way down my throat, feeling him grow in my mouth. I can go at my own pace, taking him to the edge and bringing him back, until he can’t hold back any more. I’ve got the control at those times, and I relish it.

Now I think I’ll stop writing about blow jobs and go give one to my partner…

Be sure to click through and read other Kink of the Week posts!