And Now Your Moment of Zen

Most of my vibrators aren’t the most discreet looking (or any of my other sex toys for that matter). I have some clitoral stimulators, though, that are awesome – my favorite is disguised as a tube of lipstick, and I’ve got a pen and a few others. But I’ve never had one that looked like a rock. Yes, seriously, a rock. When I saw toy on, I knew I had to check it out.

Zen, a school of Buddhism, puts an emphasis on becoming enlightened through meditation and natural law. Many people associate Zen with Zen gardens, dry landscape gardens constantly pruned and sculpted to enhance meditation. Cal Exotics was inspired by these ideas when coming up with the Zen Calm Massager.

The massager comes in a white and green plastic box with blue text, and it’s visible through the front. The back of the box has a picture of the toy and some information on increasing and recharging intimacy. Inside the box are the toy and a small piece of paper showing how to insert the batteries.

The Zen Calm Massager does indeed look like…a rock. A polished, somewhat large (3 3/4″ by 2”) and irregularly shaped grey and white rock. It reminds me a bit of the “hide-a-key” rocks people used to buy to hide their house keys in outdoors. It has a seam that runs around the side but it’s not obvious to look at and not felt during use. It’s made of ABS plastic and is very smooth and shiny. If you had this on the shelf next to a plant, no one would give it a second look. It has gentle contouring so it fits comfortably in your hand during use. Don’t take this out and try and skip it across the pond, though (or use it in the shower or bath), as it’s not splashproof or waterproof.

The first thing you’ll notice about this clitoral stimulator is how light it is. Without batteries it’s incredibly lightweight. Adding the 2 AAA batteries seems to more than double it. The batteries are inserted on the bottom. A small tab allows you to remove the lid, and the batteries are easy to insert. They’re a bit harder to get out, but not terribly so.

This vibrator is controlled by a large black button on the bottom. It has two vibration speeds, low and high, and a third press of the button turns it off. There isn’t a lot of difference between them, and both are what I’d consider moderate. The vibrations are high and buzzy and felt well all over the surface of the Zen Calm Massager. While the noise level isn’t what I’d call calming, it’s not nearly as loud when you have this pressed firmly against your clit.

The Zen Calm Massager is easy to clean – you can wipe it with a soapy cloth and rinse the same way. Since it’s not splashproof you shouldn’t immerse it in water or hold it under the faucet so you don’t get water in the battery compartment. You can store it in a drawer, or right out on the nightstand.

So, Did It Work? I think this is a cute little stimulator. It’s the fact that it looks like a rock that amuses me the most, as it’s definitely not the most powerful toy out there. It’s comfortable to hold, and the vibrations cover a wide area so I can stimulate my clit and the surrounding area easily. Since it is shaped to be comfortable to hold, you can use it as an all over massaging “stone” as well.

I was a bit surprised by the high and low vibration settings. Usually I can tell a big difference between them, but both of the settings felt almost identical to me. Stronger than low, but weaker than high. While this isn’t something that will make me cum any time soon, it’s fine for warm-up sessions and masturbation play before I bring out something stronger. That may be another reason this is called the “calm” massager – it’s not going to excite me and get me crazy very fast.

Thank you to for sending this to me to review! If you need more Zen in your life, you can pick up your own Zen Calm Massager at by clicking the banner below. Also, don’t forget to check out on FaceBook and like their page!

This product was provided to me for free in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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